Laser Tag No Fun Without Cylons

We all have our favorite TV shows and movies. One of my personal favorites is the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica series. It is an exceedingly clever and believable story about the people of the Twelve Colonies of Kobol following its destruction by the Cylons. Being a hardcore fan, I have produced my first work of fan fiction for the series, enjoy.

By the Caprica Press Network
Published December 23, 2007

Caprica(CPN) – Local merchants are upset about the decline in laser tag memberships following the start of the cylon war. Before the cylon war: anyone could come into an arena, pay a modest fee and engage in a challenging fight with a cylon. Today they can still come in, but with the staffing shortage it is difficult to find a competent opponent.
“I used to be able to come in at anytime, plan a strike with my friends, only to be mowed down by a clever cylon”, said Matt Castle at Combat Industries.
The shortage isn’t expected to abate anytime soon. War has erupted between the twelve colonies and the cylon forces ever since the cylons claimed responsibility for the nuclear annihilation of the Picon colony. The colonial fleet has responded by launching all of its ships, but two Battlestar groups are already reported lost.
President Elliot is currently in talks with a cylon representative aboard Colonial One. The word is that they are attempting to negotiate an armistice. Progress has been reported as slow due to the cylons demand for unconditional surrender.
“Why can’t we be friends?” complained Emily Whitaker about her inability to have any fun with her friends since the cylon shortage.
Game centers aren’t the only merchants suffering from the recent cylon shortage. Malls, restaurants, and meat packers are also reporting severe labor shortages. Cylons used to serve in many of these jobs, but they were deactivated after three were caught kidnapping Caprica citizens and disposing of them at meat processing plants.
President Elliot is still promising a swift end to the war, but that remains out of sight. The Colonial fleet has yet to score a single victory against cylon forces despite heavy losses. Reports indicate that all engagements up to this point have been a draw at best.
“We are doing everything within our means to win this battle. Three Battlestars are already in refit to provide better countermeasures against cylon hacks,” said Captain William Adama, spokesman for the Colonial Fleet.
Experts remain unsure when the current war will end. The costs are already in the tens of billions with at least 30,000 crewmen dead or missing. In the meantime fans of laser tag will continue to struggle to find worthy opponents to play with.